Gender Non-Conforming: Part 2

 I think people are scared of the word trans.

It makes them uncomfortable. I think there are multiple reasons for this. I think first and foremost people fear the word and the concept of “trans” because people don’t understand trans people. They don’t understand what it’s like not to fit in to the gender assigned to them at birth. 

For the liberals among us, they feel uncomfortable with their ignorance. They are not willing to admit that they might be behind the times. They choose not to see that there are marginalized people among them. They don’t understand it and they are scared to ask questions.

The second reason why people are scared of the word trans is because it is something that they are familiar with. They might be wrestling with their own internalized homophobia or transphobia, and they’re also scared to come out of the closet. When presented with someone who is unapologetically genderqueer, they are smacked in the face with their own cowardice. The trans person’s courage makes them uncomfortable.

Maybe this person who is feeling this fear is straight, but I would argue that everybody has a masculine and feminine side of themselves, a yin and a yang. Some people are uncomfortable when others show the possibility of embracing different sides of oneself.

But let’s say you’re reading this and you’re saying, “Nope, not me, I’m cis through and through, I’m super feminine (or "I’m super masculine") and this is not something I could ever relate to.”

Well, good for you. BUT, is there something that you are hiding from the world? 

Is there something that you wish you had the courage to share with the world? Maybe it’s your faith or your spirituality. Maybe it’s your political affiliation. Maybe it’s your substance abuse you've kept hidden from your family. 

Maybe it’s the book you’ve always wanted to write, the thing you’ve always wanted to do. For whatever reason, you are scared to share that thing with the world. And the trans person’s courage makes you uncomfortable. If they’re sharing themselves with the world, why can’t I? If they’re open, why aren’t I? If they’re free, why aren’t I? These are the questions your subconscious might be asking you when you see a trans person.

So the next time you see a trans person, and you want to look away, or laugh, or are just feeling confused and uncomfortable, or it’s your friend who wants to use a different name or a different pronoun, ask yourself, “Why does this make me uncomfortable? Is there something that I’m hiding from the world? Is there something that I’m too scared to be open about? Why does their courage make me shudder?”

Take a look really hard in the mirror. What is it that you aren’t confronting about yourself?