Dublin: Where unexpected changes happen

I think everybody who keeps a blog during their study abroad experience has at least one post where they write about how much they've grown and changed and how this is the greatest experience of their lives and blah blah blah. Well, here's my chance to do that.

Last weekend in Dublin was the first time since I left the States in August that I could truly say that I have changed for the better because of my experience abroad. Of course everything that has happened in the past 5 months has contributed to this recent epiphany, but I didn't realize that there was a change occurring within myself until last weekend. When I really look at myself, my dreams, hopes, aspirations, priorities and values, I have realized that they have shifted in so many ways during the past 5 months. I used to think that the house in the suburbs with the white picket fence was my dream. But now I'm not so sure that the American dream is such an ideal after all. I know it's a little cliché, but this is a really big deal for me.

Most importantly, I realized that I AM happy. And I'm happy all by myself. Not because I got a good grade, because of a boy, because of money, because of an outfit I just bought, because a friend complimented me. I'm happy just because I am alive and have a full life ahead of me. I think that's the most important thing of anybody's life: to be happy alone. And I think I might have achieved just that. I also want to travel. I want to love. I want to have a career. I want to do research. I want to live the one life that I have to its absolute fullest. I want to build on the friendships I've already made. I'm excited for all the people out there who I will become friends with in the future.

It's so hard to explain, but I'm so happy right now and so content with my life. It's also amazing to me how close I've stayed with my friends from home, merely through emails, visits, Skype, and Gchat. For those of you who I've left behind in Pittsburgh and DC, don't think that my personality has changed or that I won't want to be your friend anymore. You'll still recognize me. I'm still Sarah Elizabeth. It's something internal that has changed that I could have never predicted. One aspect is that I want to do everything I can to spread the love and happiness that I feel right now.

I feel so full of love, as if it could overflow and take over the world. I want to erase sadness from everyone's life and give them all the love that I can. Over the past 5 months, not to mention the past 20 years, I have met so many giving, caring, loving people that I still look up to and admire today. I can only hope that I can be like them someday. So I've changed and I hope that I can hold on to that change by becoming a better and more loving person. The following is a short dedication to a few of the people who have touched my life in a very special way and have taught me what it means to love. This is by no means inclusive, but just a few of the people I am very thankful for right now.

This is in no particular order, by the way:

Becky- I miss the sunshine that you put into my life every single day last year. I'm so thankful that we both transferred to George Washington because my life would have been seriously lacking if I had never become friends with you… or if I had never got to experience all of your late night visits to my room or never gone to Starbucks at 4 am or never celebrated Halloween or never competed in Color Wars or any of the other shananigans we got ourselves into. I can't wait to live with you in South Hall next year! I love you, Pookie.

Jiajia and Sharon- You guys are the craziest friends I've ever known. I loved all the foolishness we found ourselves in at the end of last semester and I'll never forget the never-ending laughter we shared. When I didn't believe in myself, you guys believed in me and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. You made my China experience what it was and I hope we stay friends for life.

Ruth- How lucky am I to have such a cool older sister who I can look up to, admire, envy, copy and get advice… and stay with for long periods of time at her apartment in Albacete. I can only hope to be as awesome as you are, but I can say that I will be following in your footsteps for the rest of my life. You're an inspiration.

Liz- You are a beautiful person and a wonderful friend. I can't think of anyone who is more loyal and faithful to friendship than you. Last year, you provided me with your kitchen… and along with that came your friendship, love and cooking lessons. For as long as I live, I could never get sick of having a nice girl talk session with you. When we get back to GW, I owe you a WoW Wingery date. Grilled chicken wrap included.

Mom- I am grateful for the sacrifices that you have made everyday for the past 8 years to the corporate hellhole that is Home Depot so that I can get a college education. I hope that when I become a mother, I too can display the same unconditional love that you have given me.

Sitra- You are the first person from GW that I met (remember Adam had to go to class so we got quesadillas at Ames?) and you're also the sweetest person I've ever met. You were sorely missed on our winter break trip and I won't feel complete until we are reunited again. I admire you for your bravery to go to Peru and your courage and strength through your freshman and sophomore year for reasons that will remain obvious but unsaid. Here's to being reunited next year, Disney princesses, ice cream, abrevs, to better brownies next time, and Apex… or perhaps a better club than Apex…

Amy- If the only thing I had gotten out of our Eurotrip was a closer friendship with you, it would have been worth every penny for me. Don't think you can get rid of me now; next year I'm going to be barging into South Hall everyday asking you to spill your innermost feeling so I can do a psychoanalysis. Just kidding; I'll reserve that for our girl talk nights. The only thing left I need to say is: I'm the Triemiester. Here's to another year of broadening our horizons, new experiences and becoming a Yes Man/Woman/Person and giving away all our possessions to live off the land. GET REAL!

Lyn- Thank you for being my second Mom. I don't know what I would have done for the past 4 years without you and your family. You are the bravest woman I know and your victory in the fight against cancer is inspirational. Thanks for including me as a member of your family.

Adam- You are my best friend and I love you. Thanks for believing in me.

Dad- You have worked so hard every single day of your life (well at least since I was born. I don't know what you were like before that. ;-)) to provide for your family. I sincerely hope that you have a comfortable retirement someday somewhere tropical because that's what you deserve for all your hard work.

Ms. McNulty- It has been way too long since we've met up and I hope next summer we can touch base again, provided that you're not off exploring another corner of the world. You are the best teacher in the world and it amazes me that you work tirelessly to become a better teacher still. You are the reason I am in China right now and I am indebted to you for that. If I start a career related to China, we can split my income 90/10.

The Eleven- To my 10 sisters from Pittsburgh, you always have and always will be in my thoughts. It sucks hardcore that I moved away freshman year and have only returned for short visits and I feel terrible about this. I always look longingly at your Summer '09, Christmas '09, Thankgiving '09 ect facebook albums and wish I could have been there. I hope you guys forgive me for this and remember that I love you guys. I always appreciate your emails and your facebook posts; I can't wait until we are all reunited again. Summer '10 anyone? I wish it were that simple but maybe some of you can come and visit me in China! I love you Megan, Chrissy, Lisa, Kaitlin, Amy, Sarah, Grace, Kate, Hannah, and Dana.