Void

This year, I have been using an Intuitive Writing deck that my friend, Three, gifted me. Each card has a word or shape on it, and you use that word or shape to prompt a piece of creative writing. I'm going to post a series of entries from my Intuitive Writing practice here, just for fun. 

VOID 

What is a void? A void is a big, gaping hole. A dark hole, where something is lacking, needing, wanting. A piece that is empty, waiting and wanting to be filled. A canyon too deep to see the bottom of. And yet! The Grand Canyon, the largest void in the world, a huge hole on the side of steep cliffs, is beautiful. 

Maybe it doesn’t want or need to be filled. Maybe it’s beautiful just the way it is. Maybe scars are meant to be there. Maybe you’re beautiful because of your scars. Maybe the void is there for a reason. Maybe it doesn’t need to be filled. Maybe there’s something in the void to teach you. 

Or maybe not. 

Maybe there is no purpose. Maybe there is no point. Maybe it just is what it is. 

Just because you have a void doesn’t mean it needs to be filled. The Grand Canyon is beautiful. It doesn't need to be filled. Maybe that gaping hole in your heart doesn't need to be filled either. Maybe it's perfect just the way it is. Maybe it's there for a reason. 

Where do you have a void? 

Maybe I have an emotional and social void, a gaping hole in my heart where I have some room. What if it doesn’t need to be filled by anyone or anything? What if it’s okay to feel empty sometimes, just like how it’s okay to feel hungry sometimes. You don’t have to do anything. It’s okay to just be and be a void or have a void. 

Maybe that’s part of the process. Yes, of course it’s nice when something can fill the void. Best case scenario might be that you are seeking Spirit to fill that void and let you know that you are loved. But what if you can just sit with the void? Not praying to make it go away, but just recognizing and allowing: "Yes, I have this void and that isn’t bad nor good, it just is." 

The void exists. It exists just like you and I exist. Just like the Grand Canyon exists. There is no judgment. Okay, well the Grand Canyon is beautiful and that's a type of judgment. But it’s just there. Nobody judges it as bad or good. Beautiful, for sure. But no one is saying, "Yes. This is good." 

The Grand Canyon just is. It exists. And you exist. It’s not bad or good, forward or backward. It just is. You can find your vibration and just be. There is no end point, no goal, no golden nugget, no carrot, no gold pot, no achievement, no end. 

There’s nothing to check off the list. Unless you mean your life, at which point, when you check that off, you will die. Why rush to check it off your list? Why rush to check your own life off the list? Why not enjoy the process? Yes, it feels good for the moment you check it off, but then what? Then, the moment is over. 

What if it does take you another three years to finish the book? What a wonderful gift. Time to work on a creative and meaningful project. Why rush it? So you can write your next book? What if there is no next book? What if this is the last article you’ll ever write? Then, why rush it? Why not just enjoy the process. Because there might not be anything after this. So, like death, why rush it? This might be the death of your academic life, and you will miss it after it’s gone. There will be a void there. An intellectual void. So why rush to fill it up? Why not enjoy it while the raging river of thoughts and struggles are raging through the canyon? Eventually, the river will dry up. So don’t rush it. Just enjoy the rapids while you can, and don’t be afraid to reach out for help and support in the meantime.