30-Day Challenges: Yoga

Yoga occupied a paradox in my mind for a long time. On the one hand, it seemed boring and pointless. Who had the time to just meditate and stretch? I had done some yoga several years ago and it always seemed kind of lame. One the other hand, it seemed like way too much work. As someone who was very stiff and just not flexible, the idea of doing warrior 1 and tree pose sent shudders of terror down my spine. That was for people who were calm and focused, strong and flexible. Not me.

I had all kinds of other excuses: That yoga was for rich yuppies who tattooed Namaste to their foot when they didn’t even know what it meant; That yoga was for spiritual yuppies who disrespectfully appropriated Indian culture; That yoga was for people who pretended to exercise because they were too weak or lazy to really exercise.

In December 2019, my roommate Maddy (the same one from the sugar challenge) had invited Terrence and I to do a “Yoga with Adriene” video with her one night. I remember that day so clearly. We were doing a roommate “family dinner” night and Maddy and I had prepared dinner. Terrence announced that he wasn’t hungry yet and asked if we could eat together later. Maddy suggested we do some yoga while we waited for Terrence to get hungry. I was PISSED. Like a toddler. WTF. I was hungry. Why did I have to wait? I don't like discomfort and felt like a 2-year old. 

I reluctantly acquiesced and we did 20 minutes of yoga. It was really nice and not too hard.

I didn’t think much about it again, but the seed was planted.

As the months continued, my joints were stiff and my muscles ached. I knew in the back of my head that I should stretch more, but it was something I just kept putting off. I had so many other things going on. How does anyone have time for that shit, I thought. I was also hesitant—I “knew” I was “bad” at stretching and didn’t really feel like doing something I perceived myself to be bad at. I didn’t have the mental energy for it.

My therapist had been doing some “somatic” work with me in connecting with what my body wanted and what emotions my body was communicating to me. A friend had also introduced the idea of somatic therapy to me in 2018—the idea that our body had inherent wisdom and that our bodies were a source of spiritual healing. The seeds were planted and starting to grow.

To be continued...