Staying sane in graduate school: coping strategies for academic life

One of the purposes of this blog is to give and receive advice on how PhD students are surviving graduate school--both academically, professionally, and personally. So I'm inspired to start off with the ways that I've personally managed to survive three years of grad school thus far. I hope some of these strategies are useful to my professional young adult working friends as well. Leave comments below on how you stayed sane in graduate school!

NOTE: This is NOT meant to be a post about "how to be a good graduate student" or a "how to be a more productive person." This is also NOT meant to be a list of things you must do all the time or a list of things you have to start doing right now. This is merely a collection of ideas and activities that have helped me have more fun and even--dare I say--be "happy" (whatever that means...) during the craziness of graduate student life. If you are actively seeking advice or ideas of how to maintain a certain level of sanity during grad school, I suggest you take one of the ideas listed below that resonates with you and start with that one thing. I also suggest you use this as a way to start brainstorming your own strategies. Don't approach this as a prescription for success, but rather as a catalyst for you to start a list of your own coping mechanisms... one baby step at a time.

If you think you don’t need consistent mental health care and emotional support while you’re in graduate school, then you’re just kidding yourself. We all need it, whether it’s professional counseling or self-help books or journaling or meditation or working groups or writing partners, we all need some kind of external support network. We all have our own strategies for surviving graduate school. Everybody is different and the same strategies won't work for everyone. But if you think you don’t need to pay conscious attention to your mental health, then you’re going to be more vulnerable to a crash later on down the road. Because let’s face it: crises are going to happen. Over the past 3 years, I’ve developed various different coping strategies for dealing with the stress of graduate school. Here are my tips, but I want to hear from you about what does and doesn't work for you. At any one point in the semester I am oscillating between a few of these strategies, because not any one or all of them is appropriate at any given time. Depending on how I am feeling I employ somewhere between several to none of these strategies. Please add your own in the comments section!

Here are the top three most important things for me in maintaining sanity:

• WATER, FOOD, SLEEP: These are the three elements to living that are so important and yet rarely do I pay enough attention to them. These three things should be on top of our to-do lists every single day. These are my top priorities. Get enough water and sleep, and eat nutritious food. Bam. All your problems will be solved. Okay, not really, but it helps a lot! These three things have proven very elusive to me; I still struggle everyday with them. They are so key to our health, and yet so difficult to maintain on a regular basis. That’s why I put them at the top of this list.

• Practice self-nurturing and self-compassion every single day! I try to do nice things for myself every day, whether it’s enjoying a cup of coffee, painting my nails, taking a 20-minute power nap, meditation, listening to podcasts, or taking a walk at lunchtime. Just random stuff where you can stop, breathe, and enjoy life for a few minutes. Also check out self-compassion.org.

• Get a hobby. It can be anything: yoga, ceramics, painting, knitting, basketball, hiking, swimming, Pilates, kickboxing, rock climbing… Something non-academic that requires learning a skill that you enjoy doing on a regular basis.

After I make sure I have the top three taken care of, here are some other things that have helped me:

• Professional counseling and mental health care through one-on-one therapy and/or support groups. Talking to a professional once a week isn’t going to cure all of your problems. But it provides a foundation and structure of care that can help focus your mental health support and help direct you in figuring out how to move forward in your recovery (because let’s face it, we’ve all been through some stuff), as well provide help in setting up your own strategies for coping with destructive tendencies and behaviors.

• I’m a self-help book junkie. I highly recommend supplementing professional counseling with the myriad of books out there for every kind of mental health concern possible. Some of my favorites are Eating by the Light of the Moon by Anita Johnston, Daring Greatly by Brene Brown, and Feeling Good by David Burns. 

• There are also a lot of academic self-help books out there for PhD students, like Aspiring Academics by Solem, Foote, and Monk and a myriad of dissertation writing guides. Also books like Using Social Theory by Pyrke, Rose and Whatmore, Stylish Academic Writing by Helen Sword, How to Talk about Books You Haven’t Read by Pierre Bayard, and How to Write A Lot by Paul Silvia are some useful academic self-help books that I’ve found helpful.  

• Form working groups and/or find writing partners. These can be incredibly helpful for being productive and having accountability for getting work done, but also for alleviating feelings of isolation and cultivating connections with colleagues. It helps to not feel so alone in the writing process--writing does not have to be a solitary, lonely, isolating process that it so often is for many of us. I attend Dr. Leslie Blood's Writing Accountability Seminar every week. This has been instrumental for me in getting my work done, and provides another form of external support that has helped immensely in maintaining my emotional and mental health. Though it should be noted that the group is not meant to serve as mental health support, but rather it is meant to help get the dissertation finished.

• Exercise! At least 30 minutes a day. Just do it. Even if it’s just walking. Do 30 minutes of activity a day. It will make you feel better physically and mentally. I promise it's worth the time.

• Keep a gratitude journal. I have a note on my phone called “gratitude.” At the end of every day I write down three things I’m thankful for. Every Monday morning and read through the entries from the week before and it always makes me smile. Kinda corny but it really works.

• Listen to inspirational music. When I’m feeling down or tired, I have a play list of happy, upbeat, inspiring music that always makes me smile… and even dance in my cubicle sometimes. At the top of the list? Let It Go from the Frozen soundtrack, Roar by Katy Perry, Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding, Watch Yo Back by Trina, Fight Song by Rachel Platten, and Blank Space by Taylor Swift. No shame. Power women all day long.

• PhD comics. These always make me laugh out loud and remind me that I’m not alone.

• FRIENDS! As grad students, we tend to be introverted hermits. Which is great most of the time. But make time each week for friends, whether it’s grabbing coffee during the week, or going out to a movie or dinner on the weekend, consciously make an effort to connect with at least one other person in real life (ie, texting or facebooking doesn’t count) for at least an hour every week.

• Call your long-distance besties. This is one of my favorite modes of therapy: calling one of my best friends from high school or college. They’re the best, and they always make me laugh. And they’ve seen me at my worst and witnessed my most embarrassing moments, so I can talk to them about pretty much anything.

• Laugh! Have a list of your favorite comedic distractions when you’re feeling depressed or lonely. My favorites are anything that will make me laugh out loud from the following mediums: Podcasts (see maximumfun.org), Netflix (comedies), and YouTube (especially stand-up comedy bits and/or Jenna Marbles).

• READ FICTION! As a graduate student, I rarely get to read fiction, but I try to always have a book on hand that I slowly read during the semester, preferably one that is written at a 6th grade level for my fried brain at the end of the day. My favorite books of all the time are the ones I read in middle school anyway.

• I regularly read the Pearls of Wisdom blog. Dr. Karen has tips on everything from going to academic conferences to mental health issues to preparing for non-academic and academic careers.

• Take a sick day when you’re not ill. I consider this crucial preventative medicine. Sleep in, eat whatever you want, watch TV all day, don’t do any work, don’t respond to email, and turn off your phone. And if anyone asks, you had a 24-hour stomach bug.

One of my professors sent me this article today, and it also has some great advice for academics: Career Advice From an Oldish Not-Quite Geezer.

That is pretty much how I am surviving graduate school these days. What are your coping strategies? Leave a comment below!

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